and in other news. . . .Unicorns DON'T exist!

26 Jun 2016 7:30 PMMike Bennett
and in other news. . . .Unicorns DON'T exist!

I seriously think that I live in the most gullible country on the planet where modern day snake oil salesmen, soothsayers and self-proclaimed gurus are fleecing seemingly normal and intelligent people who are looking for a quick fix and that ‘dream lifestyle’ that so many of us are led to believe is achievable.

Here are some home truths people and let me know if you can relate. . .when your parents told you that you could be anything you wanted to be when you grew up – they lied! Seriously, I wanted to become a world champion speedway rider but there was a major flaw in that particular dream as I couldn’t actually ride a speedway bike to save my life.

I also fancied the idea of playing drums with AC/DC and that hasn’t really panned out so well either.  The fact is that parents will tell you that you are capable of doing anything in life but, along with Santa Claus and the tooth fairy, that’s not strictly true is it?

Here on the Gold Coast in Australia was have the largest population of what I like to call ‘oligists’. Quite simply an ‘oligist’ is someone who can make all of your dreams come true in exchange for just a few hundred dollars every week. There are ‘crystologists’ who can heal everything for $200 an hour to lay on their magic crystal blanket

(I promise I’m not making this up!) and if you really like it, you can buy the blanket for $1000!

How about a ‘herbolgist’ who will mix up a potion to cure everything from insomnia to hyperactivity and everything in between. I’m guessing there are many herbs that will give you magic powers. . . . followed by the giggles then a severe dose of the munchies at 3am!

My favourite ‘offer of the week’ came from the ‘plantologist’ who, for just $65 invites you to take your favourite indoor pan into a room with your fellow plant lovers and make music with the plants. You can even perform a duet with your cactus!  I swear these people really are out there and, worse than that, allegedly sane people are buying into this?

The do-gooders with their inspirational quotes of the day “If you can dream it, you can do it?” This is another lie, I had a dream about Kylie last year and believe me, That’s not going to happen!

It’s the same in business and we need a reality check people. Following your dream is not always going to pay your mortgage, kids school fees or put food on the table. Ambition is great but it’s maybe time to get real?

Without wishing to sound like the Ebenezer Scrooge or the Grinch who stole Christmas I think we need to start accepting that some of these ideals are quite simply unrealistic. I’m not suggesting for a moment that we shouldn’t have ambition, aim to improve our lifestyle, increase our customer base and strive to improve but we have to start being honest with ourselves.

Like weight loss, there is no magic pill or miracle diet. The formula is quite simple – eat less and move more yet,how many times a day do we see Facebook adverts claiming that “just 3 of these magic beans taken with 2 litres of the elixir of life water will dissolve all your body fat and you’ll lose 20 kilos in a week while you sleep?”  It’s not real and neither are the claims of the ‘ologists’.

Remember when the lottery started all those years ago and we had an epidemic of books claiming that they knew the secret formula to winning Lotto? The odd thing is that none of these people were lottery winners but they made their money by selling the books to gullible people! Where’s the logic in that?

Anyway, I’ve decided to become a ‘blogologist’ and will teach anyone how to make sure people read an entire blog down to the final line. It will cost just a one off payment of $3000, the keys to your car, pin numbers for your credit cards and your Facebook password. I can prove categorically that my ‘blogology’ system works and your tribe, raving fans and followers will read the entire blog through to the end. . . let’s face it, you’ve just done that!

I rest my case. . . . . . 

I never want to stop learning, I am sure that somewhere, sometime, even a much younger person than me may teach me something new, and I am prepared to listen ONCE to anyone who may have a good message...but in doing the rounds of meet-ups and networking for the last six months I have come to the conclusion that I've heard the same song way too often, and it's always based to the tune of large amount of money, however the song it's sang half way, if you want the second chorus you have to be prepared to pay with you life. The would-be if they could-be are out there by the dozens...and unfortunately I've seen naïve people being taken in for a good long ride...in one of the most classic cases is the "brilliant concept" (PLEASE SOMEBODY SPARE ME) of becoming a writer in 48 hours...It's not for me to judge but I wish people would not be so gullible, and bring themselves to get up and walk out if they don't feel comfortable with what is being offered, I have done it a number of times of late.

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